I’ve recently read David Brooks’ book, How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen. Brooks argues that the one skill that lies at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organisation or society is the ability to accurately know another person, to let them feel valued, heard and understood.
In some ways, this seems so obvious, and yet, as a society, we don’t always do this well. All around us are people who feel invisible, unseen, misunderstood. Loneliness and social isolation are significant challenges for our communities. And it isn’t just individuals or their families who are affected; there are also flow-on effects for workplaces, the health system and the economy. Recognising this has led governments, health professionals and community groups to advocate for, and invest in, the practice of ‘social prescribing’.
What is social prescribing?
Social prescribing is where medical professionals and community ‘link workers’ collaborate to connect people to social supports and other non-clinical programs to improve their health and wellbeing. This ‘social’ prescription can complement medical forms of care. The aim could be to address practical issues such as access to quality housing, education and job opportunities, but also to help meet health-related social needs such as belonging, confidence and purpose.
Social prescribing is a person-centred, holistic approach that asks not ‘what’s the matter with you?’, but ‘what matters to you?’. Supports are tailored to the individual and can include activities like walking groups, choirs, arts and nature programs, cooking classes and carer’s groups. These services can be provided by either community or government-funded organisations such as Neighbourhood
Houses, local libraries, Men’s Shed groups and PCYCs.
Can churches be involved?
As Christians, there’s much about social prescribing that resonates with our worldview: the inherent dignity of people, a holistic view of wellbeing, hope for the restoration of broken bodies and minds. We care deeply about helping people connect with one another and with Jesus. It’s Jesus’ compassion and love that compels churches to offer services that fit the aims of social prescribing, even without the label: initiatives such as music groups, playgroups, community meals and op shops. Impact audits by the NAYBA initiative show churches and faith groups provide more than 1000 community services to more than 1 million people each year with an annual social impact value of almost $200 million.
For churches who are keen, there are a wide range of opportunities for Christians to be involved in the wider social prescribing conversation. For example, did you know….
Spirituality (understood broadly to include a sense of ultimate meaning, purpose, transcendence and connectedness) has been recognised as a domain of health by the World Health Organisation.
In 2016, the Australian federal government funded the development of National Guidelines on Spiritual Care in Aged Care, for those living in residential aged care or receiving support through home care packages.
Denominational organisations such as Anglicare, Baptist Care and Uniting Communities contributed to the design of a government-funded social prescribing service model in South Australia.
Some churches have themselves taken on more formal social prescribing practices, such as:
o building referral pathways to their services from GPs, and local community
organisations;
o applying for government funding for link workers such as social workers and chaplains to
join their ministry teams;
o setting up their own charity organisation; and
o facilitating a community space in a local shopping centre.
If hearing about these opportunities excites you, why not take a look at this website to learn more about social prescribing and to find existing programs near you?
Food for thought
While opportunities for formalised social prescribing exist, not every church is able to take them up, or even wants to. Wherever your church is at, perhaps the broader community challenges of loneliness and isolation are still a chance to reflect on questions such as:
Who is lonely or unseen around you – carers, new mums, the culturally and linguistically diverse?
What realistic and sustainable opportunities does your church have to love your particular neighbours?
What do your church need to do to be, and be known as, a place of trust?
Are there local community organisations with whom your church would like to build good relationships?
Does your church have a ‘no wrong door’ policy or is there only one ‘right’ way to connect with you?
Does your church’s physical environment encourage or hinder human connection?
Does your church know when to refer people out to other medical and professional supports?
So are we in?
In Australia, social prescribing is on the radar of both federal and state governments, with the recent release of a National Feasibility Study and formation of various state-supported pilot projects around the country. As the conversation gains momentum, it’s worth asking: is this a space where churches could or even should be involved?
However we choose to answer that question, global church mental health expert, Laura Howe, helpfully reminds us: “We should never forget the power of just being human beings with other human beings. If we can simply do that, we will transform our communities.”
Navigating the Unique Challenges of Ministry: Insights from Dr. Chris Adams
Ministry is a calling that comes with its own set of challenges, especially for those in pastoral roles. In a recent conversation with Dr. Chris Adams, a clinical psychologist and executive director of the Mental Health and the Church Initiative at Rosemead Graduate School of Psychology, we explored the complexities of being a pastor and the unique stressors that can lead to burnout. This post unpacks key insights from our discussion, providing valuable takeaways for both ministry leaders and congregants.
Understanding the Role of Pastors
The role of a pastor is unlike any other helping profession. As Dr. Adams explains, pastors are unique in their 24/7 immersion in their communities. They are not only leaders during services but are also present in the lives of their congregants at various life events—births, deaths, and everything in between. This dual relationship can lead to what psychologists call “role immersion,” where the boundaries between the pastor’s personal life and professional responsibilities become blurred.
The Burden of Role Immersion
– Pastors often find themselves thinking about their roles even outside of official working hours. This constant immersion can lead to significant emotional and physical tolls.
– Dr. Adams emphasizes the importance of self-awareness among pastors. Keeping track of time spent on various tasks can help identify areas where boundaries need to be set.
– One common realization among pastors is that they often work significantly more hours than necessary, which contributes to burnout.
The Complexity of Pastoral Work
Being a pastor requires a wide range of skills and competencies. According to Dr. Adams, a job analysis of pastoral roles reveals that there is no other profession as complex. Pastors must switch rapidly between various tasks, from sermon preparation to community engagement, often without adequate support.
Key Factors in Pastoral Complexity
– Diverse Responsibilities: Pastors manage facilities, provide pastoral care, and engage in community outreach, all while preparing for worship services.
– Emotional Toll: The emotional demands of being involved in the lives of congregants can lead to compassion fatigue.
– Support Systems: Unlike other professions, pastors often lack structured support systems that help monitor their well-being and workload.
The Importance of Mental Health in Ministry
Dr. Adams highlights the growing recognition of mental health issues among pastors and the need for better support systems within churches. The Mental Health and the Church Initiative aims to provide resources for pastors to help them care for their congregants while also taking care of themselves.
Strategies for Mental Health Support
– Resource Development: The initiative focuses on curating resources that equip pastors to deal with mental health issues within their communities.
– Flourishing in Ministry Project: This ongoing research project investigates the conditions that promote long-term sustainability and flourishing for ministry leaders.
– Coaching Initiatives: Group and individual coaching programs are being developed to train flourishing ministry coaches, enhancing the support available to pastors.
Addressing Burnout in Clergy
Burnout among clergy is a critical issue, especially in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. Dr. Adams notes that while the burnout rate among pastors is not the highest compared to other professions, it remains a significant concern.
Insights on Burnout
– Workload Awareness: Many pastors are unaware of how much they work. Dr. Adams encourages them to log their hours to gain insight into their workloads.
– Sustainable Practices: Ideally, pastors should aim for a balanced workload of around 50-55 hours per week to maintain their mental health and effectiveness.
– Community Understanding: Congregants often do not realize the demands placed on pastors, which can lead to unrealistic expectations.
The role of a pastor is both rewarding and challenging, marked by unique stressors that can impact their well-being. Understanding these dynamics is crucial for both pastors and their congregations. As Dr. Chris Adams emphasizes, fostering an environment that supports mental health and well-being is essential for flourishing in ministry. By prioritizing self-care and establishing boundaries, pastors can navigate their roles more effectively, ensuring they are both effective leaders and healthy individuals.
Catch the full podcast episode here.
The Power of Influence
Power: the ability to change behaviour
Political scientist Robert Dahl famously defined power as “the ability to get someone to do something they would not otherwise have done.” In leadership, that shows up whenever your role, resources, or control of information mean your decisions change people’s behaviour even if they’d have chosen differently. Power, used on its own, can secure action while quietly eroding trust, initiative, and honesty. People do what you ask, but they start conserving energy, avoiding risk, or telling you only what you want to hear.
Influence: the ability to change what people want
Influence is the capacity to shape how people see, feel, and value things so that they want to move in the direction you’re asking. Where power pushes behaviour, influence pulls motivation.
Research on organisational behaviour and social psychology gives us a simple but rich list of influence tactics—the practical “how” of influence:
-
Rational persuasion – using clear reasons and evidence.
-
Apprising – showing how a decision personally benefits the other person.
-
Inspirational appeals – connecting to shared values or purpose.
-
Consultation – inviting input into the decision or plan.
-
Collaboration – offering help or resources to make it doable.
-
Ingratiation – using warmth and praise to lower defensiveness.
-
Personal appeals – drawing on relationship or loyalty.
-
Exchange – offering a trade or reciprocity.
-
Coalition tactics – gathering others who support the idea.
-
Legitimating tactics – appealing to rules, policy, or authority.
-
Pressure – using demands, deadlines, or implied consequences.
They’re all ways of influencing—but they don’t all work the same way, and they don’t all have the same impact on trust.
Broadly:
-
Soft tactics (rational persuasion, consultation, collaboration, inspirational appeals, apprising) tend to build commitment and preserve relationship.
-
Harder tactics (coalitions, legitimating, pressure) lean heavily on power and more often produce short‑term compliance.
Leadership: where power and influence meet
Peter Northouse defines leadership as “a process whereby an individual influences a group of individuals to achieve a common goal.” Notice what’s central: the process of influence oriented toward a shared purpose.
Put these three pieces together:
-
Power is your capacity to change what people do, even against their initial preference.
-
Influence is your capacity to change what people want, by shaping understanding, emotion, and values.
-
Leadership is the ongoing process of using influence—with power in the background—to move a group toward a common goal.
Healthy leadership doesn’t pretend power isn’t there. Instead, it stewards power in the service of influence. You hold the authority to decide, but you choose to work primarily through tactics that invite adults into ownership rather than pushing them into obedience.
1. The Power–Influence Pause
Before a key conversation or decision, ask:
-
What outcome do I need here?
-
Do I most need quick compliance or lasting commitment?
-
Am I about to lean mainly on power (“I can make you”) or influence (“I can move you”)?
If you want commitment but you’re about to rely on power, pause and reconsider.
2. The “Green‑Light” Influence Tactics
What type of influence are you leaning on?
-
Rational persuasion, consultation, collaboration, inspirational appeals. These are the green‑light moves: they respect people’s agency, clarify purpose, and usually strengthen trust.
- Other tactics—apprising, ingratiation, personal appeals, exchange, coalitions, legitimating, pressure—become amber or red. They can be used, but they’re used consciously and sparingly, knowing they draw more on power and can carry side effects.
3. Quick After‑Action Check
After significant interactions, note (mentally or on one page):
-
Which tactic did I mainly use?
-
Did I get compliance or commitment?
-
What happened to trust?
- What was the outcome for myself, the other person, and our shared purpose?
Over time, leaders can see if they are habitually leaning on pressure, rules, or coalitions—or whether they are growing in the use of persuasion, consultation, collaboration, and inspiration. In the end, the question isn’t “Will I use power?” but “How will I combine power and influence?” When leaders learn to distinguish them, expand their influence repertoire, and check themselves in real time, they begin to use their power in a way that honours people’s dignity and strengthens the very communities they’re called to serve.
The Preacher Power Trap
The preacher power trap is the gap between how much power we feel we have and how much power we actually exercise.
Many of us think of ourselves as “just one voice,” perhaps even a tired or embattled one. Yet simply by standing in the pulpit or sitting at the head of the elders’ table, we carry more weight than we realise. People listen differently. They hesitate to disagree. They reorganise their time, money, and consciences around what we say.
When we don’t acknowledge this, we can unintentionally use our power in ways that silence, pressure, or wound the very people we’re called to serve. The trap is not that pastors have power; it’s that we pretend we don’t—and then use it without reflection.
The Power You Already Bring: French & Raven
Social psychologists John French and Bertram Raven described several “bases” of power—sources from which influence flows. Pastors typically arrive in ministry already holding multiple kinds of power, whether they feel it or not.
Here are a few that are almost always present:
-
Legitimate power: This is the power of office. “Pastor,” “Reverend,” “Minister,” “Priest” are not just titles; they signal that the community has entrusted you with responsibility for teaching, oversight, and spiritual care. People assume you have a right to speak and decide in certain areas.
-
Expert power: Congregations presume you know the Bible, theology, church history, and “how things work.” Even if you feel under‑trained, members will often treat your word on spiritual and moral matters as more authoritative than their own.
-
Referent power: Over time, affection, admiration, and trust attach to you. People come to see you as a spiritual parent, guide, or friend. They don’t just agree with you; they want to stay close to you. That attachment amplifies your influence.
-
Informational power: You decide which texts are preached, which stories are told, which issues are highlighted, and which are left alone. You curate reality for the congregation. Even simple choices—what to include in a sermon, what to leave out—shape how people see God, themselves, and the world.
-
Reward and coercive power: In many churches, you (or your leadership team) have sway over who is affirmed, invited to lead and/or preach, hired, or invited into key spaces. You don’t need to be harsh for people to feel that disagreeing with you might cost them.
Notice: none of this requires you to be domineering. It comes with the role. The question is not, “Do I have power?” but, “How am I stewarding the power I inevitably have?”
How Congregations Tend to Respond by Default
If pastors carry power, congregations take up positions around that power. Most communities develop an unspoken “default stance” toward pastoral authority. Without ever naming it, people learn how to lean.
A few common default postures:
-
Deferential: “Pastor knows best.”
In more traditional or highly trusting contexts, members are inclined to accept pastoral decisions and teaching with minimal question. Disagreement feels disloyal, even sinful. -
Dependent: “We can’t move without the pastor.”
Here, the congregation unconsciously hands its agency upwards. People wait for the pastor’s vision, the pastor’s idea, the pastor’s initiative. The pastor becomes the main locus of energy and responsibility. -
Distrustful: “Pastor will hurt us if we let them.”
In communities with histories of abuse, conflict, or moral failure, members may assume any strong leadership is dangerous. They may resist, disengage, or work around the pastor to protect themselves. -
Divided: “Different groups, different instincts.”
In many churches, insiders (long‑term members, certain cultural groups) lean deferential or dependent, while marginalised groups (women, migrants, younger generations, survivors of harm) lean wary or distrustful. The same sermon or decision can land as “finally, leadership!” for one group and “here we go again” for another.
Why does this matter? Because when you lead, people are not neutral. Some are already primed to say yes, some to say no, and some to disappear quietly. Wise leading starts by noticing where your people are leaning, not by assuming everyone hears you the way you intend.
Systemic and institutional power
Systemic power is the power built into wider social and institutional arrangements, often in ways we do not see. It’s the broader social patterns that make it easier for some people to be heard and harder for others, no matter what anyone intends.
Women walk into our churches with systemic power disparities. Women, especially those who have experienced abuse or domestic violence, often begin from a disadvantaged position. In Australia and globally, domestic and family violence is a gendered issue: women are more likely to be victim‑survivors and men more likely to be perpetrators. When you lead, a significant number of women in front of you are not starting from “neutral.” They may already be negotiating fear, loyalty, shame, and survival. Your words carry systemic weight into that space.
Taking a Walk Around the Power Circuit
So how do we avoid the preacher power trap? One practice I’d commend is a regular “walk around the power circuit.” Think of it as part of your sermon prep, leadership planning, or pastoral decision‑making.
Here are four stops on that walk.
Stop 1: My role power
Questions to ask:
-
What role‑based power am I using here?
-
If someone in the congregation disagreed with what I’m about to say or decide, how easy or costly would it be for them to voice that?
-
Have I been explicit about the limits of my authority? Do people know where they have the right and responsibility to decide for themselves?
- Do I fully understand the types of systemic power disparities that exist in my congregation? How safe do they feel? How can I make it safer?
Stop 2: My relational power
Questions to ask:
-
Who is most likely to agree with me simply because they trust or admire me?
-
Are there people who might follow my lead against their own better judgement just to keep my approval?
-
Do I genuinely make it emotionally safe for people to question me?
Stop 3: Systemic power in the room
Questions to ask:
-
Whose voices are most often heard in our services and decision‑making spaces? Whose are conspicuously absent?
-
How might gender, race, class, disability, or immigration status affect how people hear what I’m about to say?
-
Am I about to ask the most vulnerable people in the room to carry the heaviest burden?
Stop 4: Returning to the servant‑shepherd posture
Questions to ask:
-
In this moment, what would it look like to use my power to give power away—clarifying responsibility, sharing decisions, opening doors, protecting the vulnerable?
-
Where might I need to slow down, seek consensus, or invite others to speak before I speak again?
-
How can I make clear that my authority is derivative (from Christ and the community), accountable, and oriented toward their flourishing, not my comfort?
Servant‑shepherd leadership is not leadership without power; it is leadership that knows its power, names it, and bends it consistently toward the good of the flock—especially the weakest sheep on the edges of the field.
Here’s a downloadable tool you can use to take a walk around your power circuit
Supporting Bible College Students and Early Career Pastors
The journey into pastoral ministry is complex, shaped by personal history, social environment, and institutional training. Research shows that bible college students and early-career pastors arrive at their roles carrying significant vulnerabilities—adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), mental health challenges, and struggles with identity. Surprisingly, research shows that seminary students often come from backgrounds marked by adversity, which can serve both as a source of strength and a risk factor.
Dr David Eagle is an Associate Professor with Duke University, and he is researching the experiences of bible college and early career pastors. Much of Dr. Eagle’s research emphasizes that these vulnerable backgrounds—such as experiences of sexual or physical abuse, mental illness in family members, or high levels of depression—are more common among seminary students than in the general population. However, these experiences can foster empathy and compassion, making such individuals well-suited for ministry. The key is providing supportive environments that nurture their resilience.
Key Findings on Students’ Backgrounds and Vulnerabilities
-
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs):
Many seminarians have faced trauma, including abuse and family mental health issues, which often contribute to their desire to serve and heal others.
-
Mental Health Challenges:
Higher rates of depression, suicidal ideation, and elevated stress levels are observed among seminary students compared to general demographics.
-
Identity and Inclusion:
Students from contexts where their identities are marginalized, often arrive with heightened distress but show remarkable resilience through supportive community involvement during seminary.
Supporting these students involves not only recognizing their vulnerabilities but also creating environments that affirm their identities and foster healing.
The Impact of Seminary Training on Well-Being and Identity Formation
Dr. Eagle’s research on the “Seminary to Early Ministry” study helps us understand how training influences mental health and leadership capacity. Contrary to assumptions, many health issues among clergy begin before or during seminary, not solely after years of ministry. This highlights the importance of early intervention, supportive formation, and addressing social and psychological factors from the outset.
How Seminary Shapes Mental Health and Spiritual Identity
-
Community as a Buffer:
Students who find strong peer support and affirming environments report declines in stress and internal turmoil.
-
Identity Development:
Seminary is a critical period where students clarify or, sometimes, challenge their religious and personal identities. Shared struggles around faith doubts and social identities are common but tend to improve over time with community support.
-
Vulnerable Demographics:
Younger students (average age around 30) often enter seminary with heightened psychological distress. Reconciliation of personal identities improves markedly when seminary communities are inclusive and affirming.
Practical insight:
Building intentional peer groups and affirming environments during seminary significantly enhances students’ mental health and sense of belonging.
Building Resilience: Protective Factors and Opportunities for Growth
While vulnerability is common, several protective factors emerged from Dr. Eagle’s research:
-
Strong Family and Faith Backgrounds:
Many seminarians come from stable, married-parent families and faith communities that foster resilience.
-
Community and Justice Values:
Students passionate about justice, fairness, and community service tend to display higher hope, humility, and capacity for empathy.
-
Hope and Support in Seminary:
Affirming environments that facilitate identity integration help mitigate distress and foster well-being.
To support clergy well-being, intentional efforts should focus on strengthening these protective elements.
Strategies to Foster Resilience in Future Faith Leaders
-
Mentoring Relationships:
Regular, genuine mentorship—especially from mature faith community members—provides encouragement and guidance.
-
Reflective and Emotional Skills Training:
Incorporating mindfulness and emotional regulation techniques, inspired by approaches like Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), helps pastors handle complex emotions and community tensions.
-
Inclusive Policies and Community Support:
Creating seminary programs that actively affirm diverse identities and experiences reduces feelings of alienation.
Addressing the Social Realities Transforming Pastoral Life
Beyond individual factors, broader societal changes deeply impact clergy resilience:
-
Political Polarization:
Issues like political polarization and societal conflict are now at the forefront of pastoral challenges, often leading to stress and burnout.
-
Cultural Shifts:
Many young pastors serve in contexts where traditional faith and community norms are shifting, requiring new skills in relational and emotional management.
-
Changing Congregational Dynamics:
The decline of church membership and the rise of digital communities pose both challenges and opportunities for pastoral leadership.
Practical Recommendations for Churches and Seminaries
-
Integrate Human Skills into Formation:
Besides theology and biblical studies, prioritize training in relational skills, emotional awareness, and conflict management.
-
Support Peer Reflection Groups:
Facilitate structured, well-supported peer groups where future pastors can explore their identity, doubts, and emotional experiences safely.
-
Create Mentorship and Support Networks:
Elders or seasoned pastors can serve as mentors, offering guidance grounded in shared vulnerability and support.
-
Promote Mental Health Resources:
Provide accessible counseling services and mental health literacy within seminary and church environments.
“Building the human capacity of our faith leaders—teaching them to manage their emotions and relationships—is just as crucial as theological training.” — Dr. David Eagle
Final Thoughts: Supporting Faith Leaders Throughout Their JourneyDr. Eagle’s insights highlight that seminary and early ministry are pivotal moments—times of vulnerability, identity formation, and growth. Supporting future pastors involves more than academic content: it requires creating nurturing communities, fostering resilience, and addressing society’s social realities.For churches and theological institutions, the message is clear: invest in the relational and emotional formation of faith leaders. Through intentional mentoring, inclusive environments, and emotional skills training, we can help our pastors thrive amid the complexities of modern ministry.
Next step:
If you’re involved in training or supporting faith leaders, review your programs to incorporate community-building, emotional health, and identity affirmation strategies. The well-being of faith communities depends on resilient, healthy pastors
.For more insights, listen to the full conversation with Dr. Eagle here.
Cultivating Flourishing in Ministry: A Wellbeing Plan for the Year Ahead
Ministry leadership is a uniquely high-stakes and complex profession, distinct from many others due to its inherent ambiguity, lack of boundaries, and the profound personal investment it demands. Research shows that while clergy experience common workplace stressors, their roles involve unique challenges such as the continuous and unpredictable nature of the work, the lack of clear job structures, and the immense pressure from digital communication in a polarised climate. Clergy multi-task at across multiple domains of responsibilities and competency demands, and their work is one of constant juggling. According to the Flourishing in Ministry initiative of Biola University, the flourishing of clergy can be cultivated through specific, evidence-based practices aligned with five key dimensions: daily well-being, resilience, thriving, authenticity, and the social ecosystem. Here are some suggestions that come from this research.
1. Start with Daily Well-being
Daily well-being is the leading indicator of whether you’re moving toward flourishing—or sliding toward depletion. Think of it as your spiritual and emotional “pulse.” When it dips too low for too long, everything else begins to follow.
– Begin or end your day with five minutes of silence—a simple, ancient practice to anchor yourself in God’s presence.
– Protect sleep, then exercise, then nutrition, in that order.
– Schedule 20 minutes daily for something that gives you genuine joy and peace. This can help with a daily re-anchoring to ministry conviction and one’s co-ministry with God himself
– Practice gratitude each evening—name three things from your day that reflected grace or growth.
2. Build Resilience Through Self-Regulation
Resilience is less about grit and more about skilled self-regulation—the ability to notice, understand, and wisely respond to your thoughts, emotions, and stress. For many pastors, this is the hinge between ministry thriving and burnout.
Action pointers:
– Practice self-compassion—speak to yourself as kindly as you would to a parishioner in pain.
– Review demanding interactions with curiosity, not criticism—ask yourself, “What was happening in me?”rather than *“What did I do wrong?”
3. Strengthen the Social Ecosystem
Even the most gifted leaders can languish in isolation. Because people often relate to your role, not your person, intentional relationships are vital.
Action pointers:
– Join or establish a clergy peer group with a skilled facilitator for mutual support and truth-telling.
– Maintain at least one personal friendship outside ministry where you can simply be yourself.
– Nurture “backstage” relationships that replenish you, distinct from “front stage” ministry engagements.
4. Lead from the Quiet Self
Flourishing clergy lead from what researchers call the quiet self—a grounded, humble awareness of your strengths, vulnerabilities, and limits. It’s the opposite of pride; it’s realism infused with grace.
Action pointers:
– Reflect on your core strengths and craft your ministry around them—this is “job crafting,” not selfishness.
– When insecurity arises, remind yourself: the work is not ultimately about you, but Christ working through you.
– Let go of the pressure to be a “superstar pastor.” Authentic leadership requires self-acceptance, not perfection.
5. Sustain Growth Through Rhythms of Rest and Renewal
Ministry is continuous and unpredictable—unless you intentionally disrupt the cycle. Rhythmic rest restores perspective.
Action pointers:
– Guard a weekly Sabbath as sacred time for joy and replenishment.
– Schedule “restorative niches”—activities that absorb your full attention and use your skills in non-ministry ways (gardening, painting, running).
– Take extended time away each year, not as recovery, but as preventive renewal.
Flourishing doesn’t happen by accident. It’s the fruit of grace, attention, and consistent practice—often rediscovering disciplines the church has known for centuries. As you begin this new year of ministry, consider crafting your personal wellbeing plan around these dimensions. Start small. Stay consistent. Steward your soul. Because the health of your ministry begins not with how much you do, but with how well you live in the love and presence of God.
The Missionary Kid (MK) Experience III
In this series of blogs, we are exploring the experience of third culture kids, particularly children of missionaries or MKs. From the interviews done among MKs, the main emerging themes were:
- Cultural Confusion
- Self-esteem
- Transitions and Adjustments
- Identity and Belonging
Transitions and Adjustments
The life of an MK entails frequent transitions. This could be between their country of residence and country of passport, or even from one country to another as their parents relocate mission fields. These transitions represent the beginning of something new and unknown and are challenging at any age. They come with a sense of loss and grief for what you are leaving behind which is old and familiar and can lead to the accumulation of unresolved grief (Rauwerda, 2012). When MKs leave the mission field for good with their parents or for higher studies, they pack up everything they own and say goodbye to the people in their lives, not knowing if they will ever see them again.
With every move, the MK has to possibly learn a new language and relearn cultural norms and expectations, in addition to adapting to a new geographical location (Pollock and Van Reken, 2001).
“There was definitely a culture shock of going from a rural place into a more urban environment. Adjusting to the different norms and behaviors were also part of the process of self-development and character building“- Rohit, adult MK
Global Nomads
MKs are adjusting to two, sometimes three cultures upon repatriation. This can be a period of high stress and confusion. They learn to adapt to their surroundings quite quickly. MKs can be termed ‘hidden immigrants’ or ‘global nomads’ who battle with questions such as What is home? How Australian am I? Where am I from? Where do I belong?. On the outside, they may look like they belong in that culture/community but they think differently from it.
“I left the mission field after completing high school. Reintegrating into mainstream (specifically Australian) society was definitely an interesting challenge…deciphering what people were saying as well as things that normal kids have to learn about like taxes. I did have a pretty tough time relating with everyone else who hasn’t grown up the way I have“- Charlie (adult MK)
Adaptation Responses
The book Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds describes different ways in which TCKs may respond to the process of adapting to a new cultural environment: 
The Chameleon – They try hard to assimilate to their passport culture and find a ‘same as’ identity. They may hide the fact that they have lived abroad and try to conform externally.
“I don’t remember much because I was quite young. (The transition) made me a chameleon, and I just tried to blend into every setting I was in, and got good at it“- Rita, adult MK
The Screamer – They try to find a ‘different from’ identity by making it a point to let others know that they are different.
The Wallflower – They find a ‘non-identity’ and sit on the sidelines, quietly watching rather than taking the risk of being exposed.
Coping with Transitions
Each missionary kid is unique, and their needs may vary. A few things that can be considered to support MKs coping with these transitions include:
Promoting stability
Amidst changing environments, fostering stability in family and community relationships and maintaining a strong family unit can serve as a consistent source of comfort and security. “Once you are in a new place, find a church or other community that will support you and provide you with stability. Since I grew up around churches, there is a familiar comfort that made change much more bearable“- Charlie (adult MK)
Building a supportive community
Encourage the formation of strong relationships within the missionary community. Having friends who understand the challenges and share similar experiences can provide a sense of belonging and support. “I went to a missionary school in Year 8, so I was surrounded by other MKs which is why the culture shock wasn’t much, we all shared the same worldview and very similar experiences“- Ana (adult MK)
Encouraging open communication
Many of the MKs who were interviewed did not have safe spaces within which they could express and make sense of what they were experiencing. Give them enough space to express their feelings and concerns about transitions. Creating a safe space for dialogue can help them process their emotions and gain perspective. “I’d just put on a happy phase during the adjustment process and not verbalize the struggles of change because I thought it was normal.”- Ana
Considering connecting with a culturally sensitive mental health practitioner
During these periods of change, having access to counselling services can be beneficial. This may provide MKs with a safe space to express emotions, build resilience, encourage flexibility and develop coping for the unique challenges they face.
Finally, as one of the MKs beautifully put it “Take life one step at a time. I know it sounds super cliche but it’s true”
————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
Part I and II of this series and other blogs can be found here.
If you would like to connect with one of our psychologists, you can find more details here.
References
Pollock, D., & Van Reken, R. (2001). Third culture kids: The experience of growing up among worlds. London: Nicholas Brealey.
Rauwerda, A. M. (2012). The Writer and the Overseas Childhood: The Third Culture Literature of Kingsolver, McEwan and Others. North Carolina: McFarland & Company Inc Publishers.
The Missionary Kid Experience II
In our previous blog in this series, we explored the experience of third culture kids or TCKs, particularly children of missionaries. From the interviews done among missionary kids, the main emerging themes were:
- Cultural Confusion
- Self-esteem
- Transitions and Adjustments
- Identity and Belonging
Self Esteem
The identity crisis that TCKS may have with regard to their sense of self can impact their self-esteem. High mobility and cross-cultural development can create a sense of rootlessness in these children. This makes it challenging for them to develop their identity, particularly in adolescence (Pollock, Van Reken, & Gould, 2001). When they cannot identify with a particular culture, they may experience insecurities or face certain setbacks in their development. This difficulty in identity formation can lead to problems of self-esteem and self-worth (Collier & Petty, 2006).
Additionally, TCKs can often find themselves being ‘different’ due to their multicultural background. This could set them apart from the norm and lead to a sense of discomfort and low self-esteem.
“When I moved from the mission field to an international boarding school, I was surrounded by some of the richest kids in the country. I faced challenges with my self-esteem because I had misplaced values. In middle school, I wanted to appear ‘cool’ like the rich kids. I faced self-esteem issues because I had placed my value in speaking as they did, wearing the same clothes they did and having the same connections“- Laura, 21 yrs
Laura’s journey resonates closely with my own, aligning with numerous sentiments expressed during the interview process. The ongoing reassessment of personal values, coupled with frequent comparisons to peers from diverse backgrounds, often gives rise to a pervasive sense of discontent. It requires a considerable amount of time to reconcile with the realization that one’s unique experiences have imparted valuable life lessons, intricately woven into the tapestry of being a Third Culture Kid (TCK)
Navigating self-esteem challenges
A question posed to the adults TCKs in the interviews was ‘What would you tell your younger third culture self?”. Some of the responses are helpful in understanding how these individuals coped with self-esteem challenges:
- Your greatest insecurities will not stem from an insufficiency in material or social resources, but in your own self-limiting beliefs. So reflect on your weaknesses and insecurities, take responsibility for any mistakes and work on them.
- This experience will give you a richness in terms of life experience. The things that make you different and ‘weird’ to other people can also be used for good. There are many people like you- make friends with those who appreciate your uniqueness (promoting self acceptance)
Having a flexible self-concept can prove to be a healthy and adaptive trait as it has been shaped by a diverse array of experiences and opportunities that afford a nuanced perspective on the world. Embrace it!
You can find Part 1 of this series and other blogs here.
References
Collier, A. M., & Petty, K. (2006). Characteristics and Repatriation Issues of Third Culture Kids: A Review of the Literature. Journal of College Orientation, Transition, and Retention, 14(1). Link here.
Pollock, D., & Van Reken, R. (2001). Third culture kids: The experience of growing up among worlds. London: Nicholas Brealey.
Pollock, D., Van Reken, R., & Gould, J. (2001). Always saying goodbye. Journal of Loss and Trauma, 6, 75-81
The Missionary Kid Experience
Missionary children, or “MKs,” as they are sometimes referred to, grow up in an international, highly intercultural environment. The journey of a missionary kid is distinctive and filled with a variety of unparalleled opportunities, challenges, and experiences. We will examine the lives of these “third culture kids” in this series of blogs, shedding light on their upbringing, unique experiences, struggles, identity, and mental health. Excerpts from interviews with people who grew up on mission fields will be included in these blogs (names have been changed to protect confidentiality) and redacted transcripts of these interviews will be provided with the upcoming blog posts for those who are interested.
Who is a TCK?
A Missionary Kid (MK) falls under the category of ‘Third Culture Kid’. This term is used to describe a person who has spent a significant part of their formative years outside their parents’ culture. According to the book ‘Third Culture Kids’ by Pollock and Van Reken, TCKs develop links with all of the cultures but do not fully identify with any of them.
A Truly Global Upbringing
The MK, raised in foreign countries, experiences exposure to diverse cultures, languages, and ways of life. Traveling between their home and host countries and growing up in a genuinely cross-cultural world can cultivate an appreciation for diversity, adaptability, and flexibility
Jonathan, 18yrs- “I recall being able to adjust in whatever situation I was put into (at least externally). I think a lot of that comes from constantly evolving circumstances and being accustomed to change.”
This global upbringing also involves frequent relocations, language barriers, and cultural adjustments. This might contribute to a sense of rootlessness, which we will explore in another blog. Rich diversity exists alongside the underlying dilemma of where one fits within that diversity.
Rachel, 25yrs- When we moved from one mission field to another, I needed quite a bit of time to adapt. Integrating what I had learned from the previous place and starting from scratch was difficult. I still find it difficult to identify one of these places as ‘home’.
Some of the themes that arose from the interviews were:
- Cultural Confusion
- Self-esteem
- Transitions and Adjustments
- Identity and Belonging
Cultural Confusion
Exposure to and the blending of various cultural norms, values, and expectations can result in cultural confusion. MKs often learn multiple languages and adapt to various communication styles. This can lead to challenges in identifying with a single language or communication pattern.
Sam, 24yrs- “As a five year old, I used to switch between 3 languages in different contexts- one with local friends, one with my parents, and one with my babysitter. I even recall switching languages within the same conversation, and sometimes still do that. It came so naturally to me but I did not identify with any of the three languages.”
Managing Cultural Confusion
There is no one-size-fits-all approach as each MK has their own unique experience but navigating this confusion may involve:
- Embracing Uniqueness– Not everyone gets the opportunities MKs do. Embracing the diverse cultural backgrounds as a unique aspect of your identity can help you use it as a source of strength.
- Self reflection– Engaging in introspection to understand and clarify your own values, beliefs, and cultural influences.
- Cultivating flexibility– You might still be navigating various cultural contexts. Embracing a flexible mindset can enable you to adapt, welcoming change and uncertainty as opportunities for growth.
- Seeking Support– Connecting with other TCKs who share similar experiences can provide a sense of validation and belonging.
This research article provides an in-depth understanding of adjustment within internationally mobile families.
You can find more Centre For Effective Serving blogs here.
References:
Pollock, D. C., Van Reken, R. E., & Pollock, M. V. (2017). Third culture kids : growing up among worlds. Nicholas Brealey Publishing.
—————————————————————————————————————————————-
Our latest podcast episode provides a deep dive into clergy well-being, focusing on the impact of conflict within churches, the loneliness experienced in ministry, and the challenges in ministry formation. These issues are explored with our esteemed guest, Professor Donald, whose extensive research and insightful observations provide a new perspective on these crucial topics.
A key focus of the episode is the delicate balance between work engagement and the risk of interpersonal conflict in religious settings. Unresolved disputes within the church can lead to toxic levels of discord, which have significant repercussions on clergy well-being. Professor Donald provides valuable advice on how to foster an environment of peace, respect, and productivity.
The episode also turns the spotlight onto an often-overlooked issue – the loneliness of ministry. Clergy couples face unique challenges when it comes to finding friends, leading to emotional exhaustion. The importance of relationships and activities outside the church is emphasized, along with the amplified loneliness caused by the pandemic.
Lastly, the episode explores the complex world of ministry formation. Balancing caring for others and self-care is a tricky endeavor. We discuss the mental health burden that comes with the pastoral role and the crucial role of professionals such as social workers, psychologists, and healthcare providers in providing support.
We also touch upon the necessity of integrating formal education with local church formation. Churches can play a significant role in supporting pastors and their families by providing resources and ensuring the curriculum is made more coherent to better equip clergy for their work.
The podcast also explores the increased awareness and interest in attending to the needs of others as well as the lack of knowledge and skill when it comes to self-care. It highlights the complexity of being a pastor and the mental health burden that comes with the role. The episode concludes with a discussion on addressing mental health in ministry. Helpful professionals, such as social workers, psychologists, educators, doctors, nurses, and hospice caregivers, can understand and relate to the struggles of ministry work and help the helpers.
In conclusion, the episode provides valuable insights into the realities of clergy well-being, the impact of church conflict, the loneliness experienced in ministry, and the challenges in ministry formation. It emphasizes the importance of fostering a peaceful and productive environment, nurturing relationships outside the church, and integrating formal education with local church formation.